Dealing With Hateful Online Comments

If you've been online for as many years as I have (since 1999) and you've been part of any social media site, or if you've shared the salvation message of Jesus in public, you've come to realize that not everyone will agree with what you may say. Early on, I used to fight to win online arguments, but through years of experience, I've found this to be a futile endeavor. I'm in no way an expert, but as a born again believer in Christ, I've developed ways of dealing with individuals online who give me a difficult time. These are tips you can also use when speaking with someone face to face as well. You undoubtedly have a different set of personality traits that would lead you to handling some things in a different way, but this is what works for me personally.

RESIGN YOURSELF TO THE FACT THAT YOU DON'T NEED TO WIN THE ARGUMENT

Your goal shouldn't be to win an argument. Your goal should be to share the salvation message, your biblical knowledge, and to share facts in the hopes of having a rational discussion with others. There are those who don't have that same mindset. Many people don't want to open their mind to other viewpoints or they're just looking for an argument. They'll refuse to give up any ground, even when you've given them all the facts. You can take a picture of the sky to prove that it's blue, and they'll still say it's green. They're just plain stubborn and refuse to listen to reason. They could also be trolls, who want to take the opposite viewpoint just to give you a difficult time as they try to stir up strife. These are the people on which you don't want to waste your time. The moment someone becomes combative and refuses to listen to what you have to say, the minute you realize that their ears, mind, and heart are closed to what you have to share, the minute they're more interested in their own viewpoint and have become deaf to what you're trying to share, the conversation should end. There's no use in investing time and effort to type out your entire side of the conversation if they're just going to ignore everything you've written and stick to their guns, even when scripture and logic shows otherwise. There comes a time when you just need to stop casting pearls or need to shake the dust from your feet. Many times, I'll end the conversation with, "We'll just have to agree to disagree," or "We're just talking in circles, so I'll give you the last word." Once you've said that, you've taken the power out of their hands because you've, effectively, ended the discussion. Don't even wait for their online response, because if you do, they're probably going to goad you into responding again. Just move on and don't let the enemy get a foothold. 

IF POSSIBLE, LIVE PEACEFULLY WITH EVERYONE.

It says in Roman 12:18, "If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men." Very rarely will negative feedback or comments get my dander up. I can usually read them, shrug them off, chuckle about them, smile, and respond in a way that doesn't feed into, or fuel, their hateful or combative rhetoric. I've been called every name in the book. I've heard it all. How do I handle it? I try to calmly explain my side a little more clearly, using logic and, depending on the situation, scripture. If they continue to attack me, I dodge it and respond with more God given wisdom and knowledge. Most will get tired of not getting anywhere with their attacks, and they'll just give up. They'll figure out that it's better to give up than to continually be proven wrong.

Another way to deal with negative, hateful, and vulgar comments is to just respond with humor. If they can see that they're not getting you upset, they'll leave. I'll respond with a facetious comment, causing them to look a little foolish without actually attacking them. A few good facetious comments along with some "LOL's" and laughing emojis and they tend to move along because they don't want to look like a fool in front of anyone in the comment section. If they're on my YouTube channel, I'll say something like, "Thanks for watching the video and for leaving your comments. When you leave comments, it boosts my stats." They usually leave right after that. If not, I won't even address the topic of their next negative comment. I'll just say something like, "Another comment! Ding! My stats just went up. Thank you so much for helping me out! Keep them going!!!" They're usually gone by that point.

DON'T GET DISTRACTED AND BECOME A CONSTANT TARGET BY LOSING CONTROL

Many people, once they realize that their not winning the argument, will attempt to change the subject ("Well what about this... what about that?"). I always try stay on topic and bring it to some sort of conclusion before we move on to something else. I say something like, "I'll address that in a moment, but just to finish clarifying what we were talking about..." If you allow them to steer the conversation, nothing will get resolved and you'll just be a constant target for whatever they want to throw at you until they find something that sticks. Resolve issues one at a time in order to avoid confusion. If not, by the end of the conversation, not one issue will have been thoroughly discussed and/or resolved, ending with nothing actually being accomplished.

AVOID THE BOOK WRITERS

With online social media, there are those who will try to overwhelm the comment section with what seems like a chapter from a book. Their comment is so long, and the scripture they're sharing is so disjointed and cherry picked, that there's no way you can adequately respond in the limited space of a comment section. It reminds me of a meme I once created...

Trust me. Don't take the time to write your own book explaining point by point how what they just said was scripturally inaccurate, because they're so convinced that they're right, that they'll reject anything you have to say in response to them if it contradicts what they've written. They'll just write another chapter to let you know how wrong you are, and it'll be filled with more misquoted and cherry picked scripture. So, in the end, all that time and effort that you put into responding to their initial comment would have been for naught, because they either didn't read it, or they ignored it. That's why I refuse to read anyone's comment if it's more than a couple of paragraphs containing multiple points, because there's no way to adequately respond to that kind of comment without putting a lot of time and effort into it.

NEVER ATTACK THE OTHER PERSON

If you can remember not to take things personally, then this shouldn't be too difficult to accomplish. Just try to remember that they're likely coming from a position of ignorance of the issue or of God's word. The quickest way for a discussion to devolve is to attack the other person. The discussion then turns into a personal argument, and then it turns into chaos. Your attacks then make you the aggressor in everyone else's eyes, and you'll just end up looking like a fool if your attacks are proven false. It's okay to have an offensive stance, but that's not an excuse to purposely hurt other people. People are already going to get their feelings hurt by the truth. We don't need to add anything else to that negative experience that's going to just make things worse. Remember, our fight isn't against flesh and blood. The unsaved are being influenced by the enemy, and they're living in the flesh, without a resurrected, born again spirit. What you see clearly, they can't yet understand. That being said, I confess that I've taken some things personally and regretted my responses afterwards. That leads me to my next point...

LEARN FROM YOUR FAILURES

When you fail, and you will fail, learn from the experience. Your words won't always be the right ones. You'll say things with an attitude that you'll regret. You won't always have an answer for someone who poses a difficult question or idea. It's easy for me to say don't sweat it, but... don't. It's all part of the learning process. You can't take back words when you're in a face to face discussion, but at least online you can fix a mistake by just deleting what you've said. When you see an area of weakness on your part, then focus on that issue in your next bible study, so that God can increase your wisdom, knowledge, and understanding of Him and His word, and so you can be ready to provide a more knowledgeable response the next time the subject comes up in conversation. 

REMAIN HUMBLE... YOU MAY BE WRONG

Many times we're convinced that what we believe is 100% correct. We'll argue a point until the other person brings up a fact or a scripture that changes everything. Suddenly, those long held beliefs are blown away and truth wins out. We have to always be ready to be proven wrong. In fact, I don't mind being proven wrong. Why? Because I don't want to live my life believing something is the truth when it's a lie. I don't mind having my bubble popped, so-to-speak. That's how I've come to realize that a lot of church tradition is just that... manmade tradition passed down from generation to generation within the church. We can't ask others to listen and think about what we have to say if we're not willing to show them the same consideration. We're not always right! So my advice is to remain humble, because it's the humble that are open to loving correction and rebuke through the Holy Spirit. If that happens, then don't be too prideful to admit to the other person that you understand where they're coming from, and that they've given you something to think about. Then go do some hardcore bible study...lol. 

I hope this has given you some food for thought and that you'll walk away with one or two tips that you can use in your own online and real life encounters with the church and the unsaved. 

REPENT, AND BE FORGIVEN!

BELIEVE, AND BE SAVED!

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